Foul Mouthed Little...

I have two kids and because of that I am often exposed to other little kids I am not responsible for. Often times I have seen them get very, very angry. They stomp, yell, and throw some awesome tantrums. When I relate stories of particularly good fits to my wife I frequently add my own twist to the tale.

Say a little boy wants his mom to get him chocolate milk with his Mc-future-health-problems Meal, but she insists on the regular milk. In reality he will say, "Mom! I want the choc'ate* milk! Not the yucky milk", and follow that up with a noise I cannot repeat with out causing damage to my sinuses. When I relate this to my wife the boy will say, "Bitch! I said I want choc-ate* milk. Not the that fucking white bullshit you're fixated on".

My wife tells me I am horrible for putting words like in a child's mouth but I don't agree. I am just saying what they would say if they knew how to use those words. The sentiment is certainly there, they just lack the vocabulary. So next time a little kid is mad at you and you feel like they really want to call you a, "mouth breathing, fuck-tard that that doesn't have the brains to jerk off and use a mouse at the same time", just remember its only their lack of words not any kind of self control that stops them. They're little kids and while they may have no Id control they are damned honest.

* Lame-assed attempt a replicating little kid cuteness.